Bag
by Trixie Ray
Summary: Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it?
1. Chapter 1

**Bag**

**Author: Bea Mendes**

**Pairing:** Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler

**Rated K+**

**Summary:** Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it?

**Disclaimer:** I do no own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry if there's any mistake. I just wrote it in my blackberry during a boring class.

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"Elliot, cut it out. You're such a baby." Olivia threw her hands up and closed her eyes. "Give it back to me, jackass."

"I'll give it back as soon as I get to see what you're hiding so freaking much." Elliot said with a grin and moved away from her, holding the bag above his head, out of her reach.

"Elliot, give it back." Fin said and Olivia sigh, relieved that someone was by her side. But then she missed Fin waving his hands to Elliot.

She saw the bag flowing above her head and turned just in time to see Fin catch it and laugh with her stupid partner.

"What's in here, baby girl? What's got your knickers in such a twist?" He said while he faked opening the bag.

"You know what? That's it. I don't care." She turned away from the children and walked towards the cribs. Soon enough hell would come up and she at least would lie down to receive the blow.

She waited and waited but it didn't appear. After a few minutes she heard a light knock on the door.

"Hey." Elliot said tentative. He sat down on the bed she was in and waited for her to talk to him.

"Shoot," she closed her eyes waiting for his outburst. Actually she was quiet surprised that he still was calm and quiet.

"What, Liv? We didn't see anything." He said a little bit surprised. "Did you really think we would do that to you?" He looked a little bit hurt. "That we would invade your privacy like that?"

"I don't know, El. I just don't know anything anymore."

He gave her the closed bag and got up to get out of the room, hurt that she didn't know him enough to trust him to that point.

When he opened the door he felt a hand stop him. "El..." He turned when he heard her voice, slowly moving away from where he stood to let the door close.

"What's going on, Livia?" Elliot asked softly taking in her face.

Olivia opened the bag and showed him.

"Do you think...?" He asked hugging her.

"I thought so. But guess who came today." She hugged him back and let the tension between them wear off.

Elliot put the untouched pregnancy test back in the bag and kissed the top of her head.

"It will happen when we're ready, love."

"I know it will." She said softly against his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bag**

**Author: Bea Mendes**

**Pairing:** Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler

**Rated K+**

**Summary:** Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it?

**Disclaimer:** I do no own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey! Here I am. Again. So, I wasn't gonna go on with this story, but some of you told me to write more :) thanks you guys! I just don't know when I'll be writing the story since inspiration isn't always with me.

So, I also wrote this chapter in my blackberry and am _really_ tired to check for any mistakes. I hope you like it though!

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Olivia was at the couch, staring at the TV without really seeing it. She didn't even noticed when Elliot sat beside her and jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"What's on your mind?" He asked gently, so that he wouldn't scare her more.

She shook her hand and for five whole minutes she continued staring into space. Finally she took a deep breath and started speaking softly.

"I feel like I'm disappointing you. There's something wrong with me, there's no other explanation." She shook her head once again. "You obviously don't have a problem seeing that you have five kids. Maybe all theses years working and taking blows damaged me. I'm sorry, El." She sniffed and hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Hey, hey. What's are you saying? You're not damaged! How could you think that?"

"Oh please, Elliot! We've been trying for six months already and nothing. There's something wrong with me! I know you want another baby... Maybe you should just leave me and have it with someone else and-"

"Olivia." He said in a low tone that warned her not to finish her sentence. He waited a few seconds and willed himself to calm down and speak in a gentler tone. "Liv, yes, I want a baby. But I want it with you not with anybody!"

"Elliot, you don't know-"

"I know exactly what I'm saying. And you know I mean it." He took her hands in his and only spoke when she looked at his eyes. "I love you. I don't care if I have to wait another six months or a year or whatever. Tomorrow we have that appointment with your doctor and we'll see what's going on."

Olivia sighed and rested her head in the back of the couch.

"Livia, if you don't want a baby I understand." Elliot said after he analyzed what she had said.

"What?" Her eyebrow was up.

"I mean, you always say 'you want a baby'. I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner." Elliot sat straight and Olivia could see he was thinking hard about something.

"El, look at me." She softly turned his head to hers. "I want a baby. Believe me, I want it more than anything - well, except for you." She was thoughtful for a second. "But I mean it when I say that I want it too."

She kissed him softly on the lips and it took all of his worries away.

"You'll see that nothing is wrong with us." Elliot whispered when Olivia sat against him on the couch to watch TV.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bag** **Author: Bea Mendes** **Pairing:** Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler **Rated K+** **Summary:** Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it? **Disclaimer:** I do no own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

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**A/N: **This chap is a little bit shorter, but I didn't have much to write :( Read and review? :)

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"Olivia, everything is fine." Dr. Alicia Cooper said in a soft tone. "I went over your exams twice and didn't find one problem."

"Doctor, something's up. There is something wrong. Are you sure you didn't find a thing? Maybe all these years as a cop did something to me and-"

"Olivia, do you _want_ a problem? Maybe you should go talk to a shrink. Some women are ready to be pregnant yet and just get blocked. Here," she gave her patient a business card, "this woman is a friend of mine, she's really good. Maybe you should it a try."

Olivia gave her a nod and got up.

"I hope I'll see you soon, Olivia."

Olivia Benson went walking to the 1-6 precinct with the card in her hand. When she entered the House and stuffed the card in her jacket's pocket.

"Hey, Liv." Elliot kissed her softly on her right cheek. "How did it go?"

"Fine." Her harsh answer made him drop the subject for now, they could talk later without colleagues around them.

They interviewed some people to try to find a clue on who their new rapist was. The case wasn't going so well and they were beginning to think that they would never catch the guy.

"Hey, can I talk to you, baby girl?" Fin's voice shook her to the real world.

"Sure, Fin."

They went to the cribs and Olivia just stood there, waiting for Fin to say whatever he wanted to.

"I just wanted to apologize, it was wrong to play with your stuff."

She gave him a smile and hugged him. "It's okay, Fin."

"So, how are you?"

"Still the same." She was tired of receiving those pity smiles. "We should go, I have loads of work in my desk."

They were almost at the end of the staircase when Olivia turned and punched him in the arm."That's for 'playing with my stuff'. Just don't do it again." She had a smile on her face. Sure he wouldn't do it again, he knew he'd get way more than a punch in the arm the next time.

She sat on her desk and as she looked over to the picture of the victim she started to think about her own life and her job.

Maybe she should talk to a shrink, maybe she was trying to block getting pregnant.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bag**

**Author: Bea Mendes**

**Pairing:** Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler

**Rated K+**

**Summary:** Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it?

**Disclaimer:** I do no own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for taking so long to update, but I had a crazy week!

I hope you enjoy this chap and I'll try to update the next one ASAP. :)

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Olivia Benson looked around her and felt uncomfortable. Now that she was in the waiting room of the shrink she began having second thoughts about all of this.

She wanted a baby, she really did. She wanted more than anything to have a family and the possibility of having one with Elliot made all of this even worst.

Olivia Benson was scared. She hadn't told Elliot about this, she just said she needed to do something and called Cragen letting him know that she would be late for work today.

"Olivia Benson?" She didn't even notice when the patient left the room and the doctor came out. "Come in."

The doctor looked OK, she thought. She had nice furniture in the room and a good comfy sitting chair.

"You want to sit there?" The doctor asked when she noticed Olivia eyeing the chair. "Go ahead."

She sat at the chair and thought she had died and gone to Heaven. It was that good.

"Well, let me introduce myself, I am Helena Strummer. I am married and have three kids." Olivia just nodded, but didn't actually say anything to her. "I like my patients to see that even I have problems." She laughed quietly and waited for the Detective. "Why don't you tell me a little about you?"

"I am a NYPD Detective and work at the Special Victims Unit. I have been there for a long time and even though is hard I love my job." It looked like Dr. Strummer had hit the right button. "It absolutely sucks when we can't catch the guy or when he goes to trial and walks free even though we told the victim he would be in for a long time... But it's nice to be able to help the victims and do everything we can to protect them. It's good to think that we are able to take scum out of the streets."

"It's good that you do that. Keeping the city safe for all of us. But tell me, who keeps you safe? Who is there to keep you from going insane or just actually protect you? You seem to be really good at what you do. But no man is an island."

"My partner does." She answered vaguely.

"I know how tight the police is, but-"

"I know him for more years than I can count in my hands. He's been always there for me and I wish I could say that I did the same. He's my best friend and the only person I truly trust and accept help from. He never gave up on me. We've got eachother's back 24/7. What we've seen and done connect us."

Helena Strummer nodded and was analizing Olivia's posture when she talked about her partner. "Tell me, Olivia... why did you come here to me?"

She bit her bottom lip, not sure she'd be able to give the answer.

"Elliot and I... we're trying to have a baby. We've been together for almost one year."

"You know eachother for how long again?"

"Eleven? Twelve years?" Olivia saw where this conversation was heading. "He was married. We never did a thing while he was with Kathy. It actually took us a long time after his divorce. I know his family, his kids, his mother and his wife. I never was the 'other'. And I still beat myself that I may have ended his marriage."

"Why do you think you ended his marriage?"

"Elliot spends more time with me than with anyone else. Kathy always complained about that. Since she met me, she just didn't like me. And I'm not assuming that. I know it." Olivia had a defiant expression on her face. "She told me that. Lots of time. She actually came to the House one day and yelled it was my fault. And she's right. He should've spent more time with his family."


	5. Chapter 5

**Bag**

**Author: Bea Mendes**

**Pairing: **Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler

**Rated K+**

**Summary: **Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

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**A/N: **Another long wait, I apologize!

Well, I created a twitter account to everything related to the fic world and me, so it's my fic world. Follow me if you'd like, then you can send me tweets saying that I should update, or say what you're thinking of Bag. Anything is possible, right? trixierayfic

Just so you know, Bag will only have another three or four (not likely) chapters and then it will end.

This chap is sort of a filler... but I hope you enjoy it :)

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"But he didn't. And you can't blame yourself for something you didn't even do."

"You just don't understand..."

"You need to put it in the past, where it belongs. What's done is done, Olivia." The detective was silent for a while and the doctor could see that she was a bit reluctant to leave it.

"You've said you're trying to have a baby...?"

"Yes." She wasn't so talkative anymore.

"Okay. Our session is over for today." Dr. Strummer could see that her newest patient wasn't opening anymore for the day. "How about the same time next week? If you're busy with a case you can reschedule."

Olivia nodded and left for the House. It wasn't that far. She arrived and saw that the place was a total and complete mess. Everyone at the 1-6 was on the phone shouting or just searching for papers. She spotted Elliot by their joined desk and walked towards him.

"Where the hell have you been?" Elliot half shouted and she took a step back. "No one knew where you were and you phone is going to voicemail."

Olivia glanced at her cellphone and saw that it was dead. "Ran out of battery. What happened here?"

Elliot didn't have time to answer because Cragen noticed that she had arrived. "Olivia, my office. Now!"

For a brief second every pair of eyes were on her, but the room quickly went back to its previous commotion.

"Detective, where the hell have you been?" Cragen sat behind his desk and didn't make any small talk.

"Captain, I called you-"

"Saying 'I'll be late' and hanging up isn't quite explaining now, is it? You don't do this shit Olivia. Is something wrong?" Cragen's voice was softer now.

"I just went to see a shrink, Cap." She said it, her voice barely above a whisper as if she was ashamed by admitting that.

Don Cragen was silent for a moment, watching his best detective. "Okay." He nodded and Olivia got up ready to exit his office and enter the caotic squad room. When she was opening the door he asked one more thing. "Does Elliot know about this?"

"No." She hesitated, but only for a moment and got out.

"What happened in here?" She asked Munch when she saw him hanging up a phone and nearly breaking it with the force of the slam.

"Guess who wants to see all of our reports."

"What?" She arched an eyebrow.

"Cragen needs all of our reports in the last year ready by next week." Munch said shakihis head.

"Someone has called in a favor to the sergeant and is after someone in the squad." Fin said without looking at her, concentrated in filling some papers. "So Cragen needs to report about us until the end of the month."

"Shit, are we that far behind?" She asked looking around.

"Yes, we are." Elliot shoved some files on her arms when he was passing by. "So you better start helping."

Olivia looked at him but he avoided eye contact. She shook her head and went to do her job. She didn't know what was going on between them, but she would talk to him when they got the chance.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bag**

**Author: Bea Mendes**

**Pairing:** Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler

**Rated K+**

**Summary:** Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it?

**Disclaimer:** I do no own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

* * *

**A/N:** Oh my, I didn't notice how small this chpter was until I saw it out of the BB...

I'm so sorry, but there wasn't much to say in this one... I'll try to update the next chapter sooner, though.

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The chance didn't show up until it was passed mid-night. Cragen threw them out of the precinct, claiming that they would have plenty of time to work the next day.

They drove to their apartment and the silence was truly uncomfortable. Only when they got to the apartment and Elliot had closed the door is that she spoke.

"OK, enough. What's going on?" She stood in front of him, hands on her hips, so as not to let him get pass her.

He limited himself to shake his head and tried to walk away, but she wouldn't have any of this and shoot both of her hands up and against his chest to stop him.

"No, Elliot. You are not running away from this. You have been ignoring me all day and I have no idea why!" She looked him in the eyes and added. "Tell me. What's. Going. On."

"You know what, Olivia? I should be the one asking this question! You are the one hiding things from me, like, where did you go this morning that you didn't tell me? Or why the hell did you left when I was in the fucking shower?" Olivia backed off from him, suddenly upset with his shouts. "Not so talkative now, huh?" Elliot turned away from her and punched the wall to try to alleviate the stress, something that turned out to scare Olivia. He noticed it and shook his head.

She stood on the same place while Elliot paced around the room.

"I'm sorry." He whispered once he managed to calm down.

Olivia nodded acknowledging him and sat on the couch. She looked up at him and began told about the therapy and her fears.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bag**

**Author: Bea Mendes**

**Pairing:** Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler

**Rated K+**

**Summary:** Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it?

**Disclaimer:** I do no own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

* * *

**A/N:** First of all, I'm so sorry for the long, long delay! For those who saw on my twitter (trixierayfic) that I would update last Sunday, I'm also sorry. My week has been hectic. My laptop is gone (is the 'something not right happened to it' and not the 'I lost it somewhere' sense of the word), I changed my computer and on top of that I forgot my charger on my friend's house and my blackberry died. Great huh?

Well, this is the last chap and I'm so thankful for those who read it until the end! Well, I'll update one more time but it will be an epilogue - probably tomorrow or the day after.

I hope you like this chap!

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"I'm a bit of a mess right now. The doctors think that I'm somehow blocking myself from getting pregnant and I think I really am." Olivia shook her head. "I don't know if I can do this, El." She looked up and saw the look of sadness he wore. She mistook it, thinking he was mad at her for being weak and having doubts of having his child.

She shook her head and let it hang, not wanting to see his face when he yelled at her and decided to leave.

"Olivia," he said in a strong voice that left no room for argument. "We've discussed this before. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you. I thought you wanted this too." He knelt in front of her and leveled their eyes. "I'm sorry. I would love to have a baby with you but I can understand if you don't want one, just please... tell me why." His eyes were shining with unshed tears.

Olivia cupped his cheek and rested her forehead in his. Her own cheeks were wet from tears, but she didn't feel them.

"I want this." She said with in a tone that expressed how much this all pained her. "I'm so scared, El."

He hugged her and ran a hand up and down her back in a soothing manner.

He thought of what she was saying, they should've talked more about this before they actually tried anything.

"You know how my mother was. I didn't have a good example. I don't know how to be a good mother. What if things end up between us? What if something happens with you or with me? We're cops, El."

He hugged her more strongly, to show support and pushed her away only enough to look her at the eyes again.

"Liv, don't say that. Nothing will happen with you, I've got your back and will always have and I'm sure you have mine. We won't break up, Liv. You never left me after all these years. You didn't run away when I had one of my tempers or when we fought. We're the real deal, Olivia." He cupped her cheeks with his large hands. "Please believe me. You would make a great mother, it's in your nature. You're bossy and loving, you would educate them with just a look and comfort them in a way that only you can do it. You would love them with all your heart and that's what it means to be a great mother."

"Believe me, I wanted to run away from your bad temper more than once." She snorted and what she said lightened the conversation and he gave her a peck on the tip of her nose which made her sigh and close her eyes.

"I'm sorry, El."

Tears left her closed eyes and the only thing in his mind were three words, three evil words that would break his heart. _"This is it."_ He kept repeating in his mind, he began shaking his head, but Olivia didn't see it because her eyes were still closed. It took a couple of seconds for her to reopen her eyes and this time it was Elliot that hid them.

"I hope you're right..." His eyes snapped open and she couldn't help but smile at him. "The requirement of being a good mother better be loving your children with all your heart because I definitely cannot cook for them."

They kissed and felt that all her worries had disappeared in that conversation.

Elliot sat quietly on the couch and was hugging Olivia as she sat on his lap.

He replayed the evening in his head and a scene stood out from the others.

"Liv...?" He waited for her to look at him and just then he asked what he wanted to know. "Were you scared when I punched the wall?" He remembered she had stepped back from him.

She once again snorted and wore a smirk on her lips.

"Yeah right. I'm only going to say three things, sweetie; one, you would never hit me and two, if you tried to, I would have beaten the life out of you." She had that sly smirk but the threat on her second point was quite serious and his heart filled with pride.

"Number three?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You better fix the wall until the end of the week."

He looked at it and saw that the paint where he had punched the wall was ruined.


	8. Chapter 8

**Bag**

**Author: Bea Mendes**

**Pairing:** Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler

**Rated K+**

**Summary:** Olivia is hiding something from Elliot and Fin. What is it?

**Disclaimer:** I do no own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

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**A/N:** *tears* Actual last chap, guys.

Again, thank you so, so much for sticking with me :) I really hope you liked the story so far and that you'll like the ending *crossing my fingers*.

One last thing before the chap: if you want to follow me on twitter I'm always twitting tips on fics I read and liked and the authors I love, on various fandoms! The twitter is trixierayfic :)

Go on and read it! Don't forget to review and say what you thought of it, okay?

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_Two years later..._

Helena had a professional smile one her face and waited for her patient at her patient and waited for her to take a seat.

"How are you today, Olivia?" She had dark circles around her eyes and looked truly exhausted.

"I'm incredible, doc." She had a lazy smile on her face. "You wouldn't believe how cute the twins are! Everything couldn't be better."

After the almost positive stick result and a real tense conversation, Olivia and Elliot tried again to have a baby and the next month she came to him with the most beautiful smile he had seen and tears on her eyes.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered while hugging him tightly.

Now, there she was for her monthly appointment - one of her lasts.

They had twins and named them Julie and Thomas.

Life was hectic from the moment Olivia found out she was pregnant. Cragen wasn't happy when she said she wanted to stay on the streets with Elliot for a couple more months, but was able to put her on desk duty when Munch, Fin and El didn't let her do anything gun related. They got married when she was five months along in the City Hall - she claimed it didn't matter where they got married, as long as they did. Besides, Elliot wouldn't marry in church again as long as Kathy was alive.

When she was on the thirtieth week; Elliot had been working on a major case for over a month with Fin and Munch and he ended up getting shot on his shoulder. Needless to say that upon hearing the news about her husband she ended up in labor. All in all, things went well, the bullet scratched his right shoulder and he was still able to stay with Liv through the labor.

Even though they were born early they were healthy and the parents couldn't be happier.

Olivia decided to take a break from the job to stay with the kids until they were old enough to go to preschool and Cragen said that she would always have her job waiting for her right next to Elliot.

The squad discovered that they weren't the target of the investigation, some cops on Homicides were being dirty and were involved in major felonies that made even the Feds look into the picture. Every serge/captain in every squad had to report about their detectives so that the ones in Homicides didn't think the joke was on them.

Yeah, life couldn't be better.

**The end**


End file.
